Shabbat Parashat Ki Tisa 5786

Moreshet Shaul: Spiritual Self-Improvement – part II

[We focused last time on the path to elevation that embraces deep appreciation of Hashem, which enables fast and strong elevation, for the few who are capable of embracing it.]

The second path is from below. This approach also strives for the highest levels, up to the Heavens; however, it progresses slowly, step by step, level by level. One must deal with matters of little significance to clear the path. The various attributes are the enemy, and they prevent one from using outright war [against the challenges]. Every action needs to be checked for the proper balance; every thought that arises needs analysis. Throughout the never-ending war, preparations and the critical outlook pave the way for progress and ascension.

This way seems easier and shorter, but it is really very long. Every “piece of territory that is captured” by the restraining force of thought requires great toil, with effort that expends one’s strength and puts one in an atmosphere of sadness. In the meantime, he progresses along the path with small steps, in such a way that if he sleeps in the middle, years’ worth of toil can be wasted. This is because the effort does not change the nature of one’s spirit and invert it into [a more refined nature]. Rather, one tries to exert his plan for improvement “against the will” of his sentiments and have himself do things that are against what he would like. So, his spirit is imprisoned and looks for the right time to escape. Therefore, the work is dangerous and it requires vigilance.

Furthermore, because the final goal is not absorbed well into the spirit, it cannot serve as a catalyst for the effort to improve, and there is a lacking of a dynamic force to compel the spirit to act against its own will. For this purpose, the idea of struggle of inner forces was conceived. For example, one puts up the force of arrogance to counter sadness, and gives off the feeling that not everyone is involved in such things, as they are involved in fleeting matters. Even if he succeeds in taming the sadness, he then has to deal with a surge in arrogance which uproots the importance of other things and justifies all sorts of improper actions. Even the vanquished force escapes and waits in a “reinforced dark corner.” Even an attribute [as bad] as hatred and lack of love for one’s counterpart claims justification [with the claim that it is good] to hate wicked people. This concept, which is relative, can expand to the point that it includes almost anyone. We therefore find that the type of person who is struggling to improve his characteristics has a sort of moral destructiveness that you do not find by others. Those who have moral agendas are likely to be very positive about people like themselves and experience hidden enmity for people who are not in their clique. The attribute that is well entrenched shows itself when it acts vigorously with the feeling of “permission [to do what it wants].”

For this reason, this approach was unknown among those who are learned. One who is dedicated to daily Torah study in depth and breadth could forget his existence for hours at end. When he would go out into the world and look in a weak manner, he would not find anything that brought him satisfaction. The constant “drinking from the sea of Talmud” creates and unsatiable thirst which cannot find an answer from anything that is outside the gemara. He would not be able to sin, as his path was paved on a path of sanctity from top to bottom.

When the hearts of the people of the generation diminished, and the Torah study became more superficial and did not take over the spirit, as the person’s essence remained elsewhere, the study itself serves a different purpose. It could fuel lowly desires that are the lot of simple people. There were even many rabbis who were lowly in their behavior, and therefore it became critical to study mussar (ethics).

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