Shabbat Parashat Nitzavim Vayeilech 5784

Ask the Rabbi: Crying in Rosh Hashana Davening

Question: One of our chazanim and a minority of our congregants cry/encourage crying during our tefillot on the Yamim Nora’im. I understand this on Yom Kippur, but I was taught that Rosh Hashana is a happy day on which we coronate Hashem. I am not much of a natural crier. Should I try to cry or not? 

Answer: Yom Kippur has a complex character in regard to crying. It is the most important day of teshuva, which includes crying (see Rambam, Teshuva 2:4 & 5:2), but it is also a wonderful day, in that we receive much kapara (atonement) (Vayikra 16:30). In fact, if fasting were not needed as part of the teshuva/kapara process, it would likely be a mitzva to have a feast on Yom Kippur to celebrate the positive (see Ritva, Rosh Hashana 9a).

Rosh Hashana is more complex. The Torah tells us little about the nature of the day, but it is presented as equivalent to the three regalim and Yom Kippur. Chazal tell us that mankind is judged on Rosh Hashana (Rosh Hashana 16a), and due to the real possibility of an unfavorable judgment, we do not recite Hallel on the Yamim Noraim (Arachin 10b). On the other hand, there are powerful, happy things going on, e.g., “coronating” Hashem, hopefully good judgment. The themes associated with the various shofar sounds also conjure up hopeful and foreboding thoughts.

How do these mixed indications of the day’s nature and mood factor into halachic practice? A pasuk in Nechemia (8:10), speaking about a powerful event that occurred on Rosh Hashana, instructs the people not to cry or be sad but to feast on that special day. We indeed pasken along these lines: “We eat and drink and are happy, and we do not fast on Rosh Hashana” (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 597:1). The Shulchan Aruch does conclude that we should not to eat in a manner that causes lightheadedness, but we should maintain fear of Hashem.

The Gra (see Ma’aseh Rav 207) posits that the above pasuk is a precedent that one should not cry on Rosh Hashana, apparently even during davening. Rav Ovadia Yosef cites others who rule this way and concurs, although he justifies those whose emotions during tefilla bring them to tears (see Yabia Omer IX:51). It is not clear from Nechemia that at no point in Rosh Hashana, including some heart wrenching moments, is one allowed to cry. We note that while the Gra (ibid.) says not to say the powerful tefilla of Avinu Malkeinu, our minhag is to recite it on Rosh Hashana, except when it falls on Shabbat (Rama, OC 584:1).

Indeed, many Acharonim, including the Ba’er Heitev 584:3 and Mateh Ephrayim 582:28, cite the Arizal that one should cry on Rosh Hashana and that there is something wrong with the neshama of one who does not. Elef Hamagen (582:45) even cites those who say that one who has difficulty crying should at least make crying-like sounds. Some understand the Gra to oppose crying only out of fear and not of emotion due to the magnitude of the day and Hashem’s greatness (see citations in Dirshu 582:30).

Multiple sources confirm that the accepted practice is not like the Gra, and most seem to understand that the crying is out of fear of what could happen during the year. Granted, plenty of people do not cry, but realistically, few of those are holding themselves back due to the discipline the Gra promoted (the Gra was famously a highly demanding spiritual person). Rather, some people are not emotionally demonstrative, and some are apathetic to or skeptical about the idea of being judged for the year and how this is critical for their life, an approach that no poskim promote.

Therefore, we assume that those who cry at appropriate junctures enhance their Rosh Hashana and set a good tone for their environs. We strongly discourage faking or artificially amplifying his crying, which in our time and places, is likely and understandably to be scoffed at. Last Rosh Hashana, I was thinking how young people enjoying “smooth” lives have trouble feeling “fear of judgment.” Tragically, we have lost many dear people of all ages since then, and it should be easier to feel and demonstrate emotion this Rosh Hashana.

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